i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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