Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
