i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so let's talk penis.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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