I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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