:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
