No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
