just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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