i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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