How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
