You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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