I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it's like heaven, but drunker
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
