I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm jealous of your bromance
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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