there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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