If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
