No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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