butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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