i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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