she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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