Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize