so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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