Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
