He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have post one night stand depression
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