yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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