I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I will be naked everywhere
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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