I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize