I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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