i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
