it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
