Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
