OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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