Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
