Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
