In the future we'll all be gay
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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