so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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