how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Everything about him screamed your future.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
