I wish my penis had an off switch
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
