Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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