It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
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I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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