I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
