We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
