Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
