I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Someone came in the potted fern
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
