i permit you to call me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize