I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
