Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
