Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize