If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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