R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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