that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
