She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
