Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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