Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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