I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
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