question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
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searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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