I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
