Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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