i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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