What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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