So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
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Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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