Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
