So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
