wrigley field is MILF paradise
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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