Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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