Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
