so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
