After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Buhtt sex?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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