Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
