Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
